Lately I have been searching for ways to keep myself happy in spite of all the crazy things that happen in my life or simply around me. It's inevitable to have poisonous people full of negative energy around you and sometimes this energy is so contagious that you get sucked by it.
I have been thinking of 5 little steps that have helped me, maintain happiness (and sanity).
1. Be Content with WHO you are and HOW you look
Yes, they say happiness comes from within and that is true to an extent, cause there is happiness elsewhere as well, but back to this principle, you have to be at peace with your identity. Many times throughout the course of my life, I have wanted to try, to pretend to have certain characteristics that I admire in others, such as subtlety, classiness just to mention a few, but the intent has been useless. The wild-loud "latina" always comes through...some people hate it, some people find it annoying and a few like it...and that is ok. Because I prefer being friends with 5 people that "get me" than 300 that don't. I am not saying there isn't any "room to grow" because they're always is, but the real me, I cannot change. I know I am unique and as long as I know I do well to others instead of harm, I will be content. I will come to peace with this corny, silly, loud, passionate self.
How you look can be quite tough to accept as well. Media just keeps scrubbing what's supposed to be beautiful in our faces every day, which can be sooo different from the person we see in the mirror. Of course I have wanted to be as skinny as every supermodel I see, at least have thinner thighs to fit in every jean perfectly, but I don't. And never will. No matter how much I kill myself in the gym, I WILL NEVER HAVE SKINNIER THIGHS THAN THIS, EVER! they would only become more muscular...and I have come to peace with this as well. Plus I will never ever stop eating the best things in life, such as brownies, pizza, cheeeessseee ETC!
I have discovered that there is always someone that secretly admires you. Just like you can secretly admire that colleague of yours that has the most stylish wardrobe, best skin, luscious lips etc...yeap, there is always someone admiring your hair, the way you speak, your fashion style and so on. Very few times in your life you may find out cause people usually do not say these things...but trust me...someone out there is wishing to be you.
2.After the complain...add the "but".
Everyone complains...it's human nature. I just find that sometimes we complain a little toooo much. This becomes a pattern and all of a sudden you can find yourself complaining about everything. We have to try to control the URGE to complain. That is why every time I find myself complaining about stuff, I force myself to add the "but" after the complain. Example: "man it's so freaking HOT! but at least I am living in a tropical place" or "ugh! I hate traffic!! but at least I'm in a car and not taking public transportation"
it's all about converting a negative into a positive...it takes practice but everything in life has to be learned and applied on a regular basis to become a part of our daily routine.
3.Let your Inner KID come out and play.
Do you remember how much you enjoyed being careless and free?
As we become older, we take life waaaaay to seriously. We stop laughing and enjoying the simple things in life. We need to loosen up. Yes, life gets much tougher as you grow and responsibilities just keep adding but, if you start to nourish your inner kid, trust me you will start to realize that life is shorter than we plan it to be. Try to have fun in everything you do. Laugh as often as you can. Do silly things, dance in the rain, dance naked in your room, let yourself loose.
And, hey, cry when you have to...when you really have to.In life you will experience loss, sickness and death. These as well are part of the wonderful package called "life". Embrace the sadness of those. There is a time for everything and I consider tears, a calming shower to the soul. But, when it's done, it's done.
4.May your first words of the day be "thanks"
The first minutes of my day have to be calm and peaceful in order for this crabby self to be in a good mood throughout the day. I take it reaaaaally slow...I toss, I stretch, I grab CoCo (my adored dog)who is as sleepyhead as I am, and I hug and kiss him until he gets tired of it. This is the moment where I give thanks. I thank the Lord for breathing, for being alive, for having no pain in my body, for being able to sleep until late jejeje etc. This helps me be aware of all the good things I have and to not take anything for granted.
Sometimes we focus too much in US. What WE need, what WE want. Trust me, nothing is more gratifying than giving. Give a smile to strangers, some will feel so awkward that a stranger is just smiling at them that they will freeze. Others will respond kindly. Just Smile, it feels so nice!!.
Give hugs, give support, give your shoulder...give advice. Give your ear to someone who just needs to vent. Give your heart,to those you feel like they will appreciate it of course. But GIVE.
People will start giving back.
I know these can be kinda hard to incorporate in our daily life, I have not yet mastered some of these to the fullest but I try..everyday. And I wont stop until I have.
Happiness is something you have to PURSUE...